I don't usually drink but when I saw the Absolut Ruby Red Vodka behind the bar at Martuni's on showtune night, suddenly I found myself flanking the crooner at the keys with tears streaming down my face, belt-mutter-humming Bob Fosse's Nowadays. "You can like the life you're living... you can live the life you like," I had 3 Absolut Ruby Red Vodka martinis straight. Not a good combination when you're a ganymede with lazy wrists clearly working out your bittersweet anguish and swilling the glass for effect like Sylvia Miles. The sweater queen across the piano that I had been noticing all evening had been wearing a shade similar to the ruby red grapefruit on the bottle. Pink, sweater, showtunes, --- wouldn't you know, NOT GAY. I said, "You wanna be for about an hour?" Rejected, I decided to really feel the pain of my expired youth over Sweet Charity's, Anger and Hope and Doubt. What am I all About?" Never allow my type to be around liquor, showtunes and maudlin melodrama in a dimly lit piano bar. It's a recipe for ending up like some little old, taxi dancer crying into a cocktail ---- with man-scara running. That would have been the clincher. Just give me time. That's all I've got, anyway. .
